


Iruka Sensei is Quite the Story Teller

by Toast_Senpai



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Sex Education
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-21
Updated: 2009-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-15 15:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2233452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toast_Senpai/pseuds/Toast_Senpai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Naruto asks an unusual question in Health class Iruka is forced to use a little story to answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Iruka Sensei is Quite the Story Teller

Teacher: Iruka-sensei

Class of: 15 year olds

Time: 2:15 p.m.

Subject: Sex Education

* * *

First off no, this is not just another one of those sexual education classes that talk about sex, health, and diseases. No, because in this class was Naruto Uzumaki. Now, Naruto liked learning about girls as much as the next sexually deprived fifteen year old, but something was just itching at his skin, waiting to be asked. It was a stupid question. Why would anyone ask it? But still... He had to know. Okay, so he practically already knew all about his own body since he  _was_  a boy... He really didn't have to ask.

Aw, to hell with it.

"Yes Naruto?"

He put his hand down and tried to avoid the stares of his fellow students.

"Well sensei... I was just curious... No. I was wondering about...homosexuals?"

Yea, he was pretty sure the whole class thought he was gay now. The teacher stuttered and blushed, but quickly composed himself.

"Naruto, what makes you ask such a question?" Iruka said it lightly, as not to scare the boy.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head. "Don't really know. It suddenly popped into my head and I thought I might see what you had to say."

Iruka, astonished that Naruto was actually able to give him a direct answer, smiled slightly.

"Well you see, Naruto, as much as I would like to answer that question, I cannot."

**Lie**

"Why not?" innocently said was the question.

"I know nothing about homosexuals."

**Lie**

"But doesn't this 800 page book tell us _anything_ about them?"

"I'm afraid not."

_**Truth** _

"Are you sure, or are you religious or something?"

He revived several glares.

"It has nothing to do with that, Naruto"

 **Lie** _**&** _ **Truth**

"Come on sensei, you're our sexual education teacher, so teach us... all of it, including about homosexuals."

Iruka sighed and hung his head in defeat. How was he going to teach this? It was so embarrassing!

"Well class, homosexual means a person who is attracted to a member of the same sex. Example: Naruto and... Sasuke."

Collective gasps from the girls, snickers from the guys. Naruto made a mental note _not_  to leave his phone, that was full of naughty suggestive text messages, at home alone and vulnerable for less than a minute.

"So, say that Naruto, clearly a male, found something he liked about Sasuke, who's clearly a male; let's go with... His body."

Girly giggles, many snorts of agreement.

"Scenario one: both are changing for physical education when Naruto looks over at Sasuke. Naruto, noticing that Sasuke is very well built, feels curious to how those muscles feel."

Blushing Naruto, girls 'ohhing' at the mental visual of Sasuke's body.

"So Naruto goes over to Sasuke, who is in the process of changing his shirt, and looks him over, fingers tingling with the need to touch the skin he is seeing. Now, Sasuke, thinking that Naruto wants to fight, gives his famous glare and asks a clearly annoyed filled 'what'."

Just then the classroom door is opened, showing the principal, Lady Tsunade.

"Hello, Tsunade-sama, what brings you here?" Iruka asked, smile on his face.

"Just visiting around to see how the classes are going, it _is_ the end of the year and all."

Iruka nodded, acknowledging this and suppressed the blush that wanted to cover his face at having to talk with another adult in the room. Especially the head of the school. Tsunade took a seat in the empty desk next to Naruto and motioned for Iruka to continue.

"As I was saying, Sasuke thinks that Naruto wants to fight him. Sasuke takes his battle position, fists at the ready. But Naruto puts his hands up in front of him, shaking his head and saying that he doesn't want to fight. Sasuke, clearly confused, drops his guard and waits for Naruto to say something." Iruka quickly glanced at Sasuke Uchiha himself, seeing no signs of fear or embarrassment, just some playful amusement. Damn him for hiding his emotions. Iruka cleared his throat and moved on. "Yes, so now Naruto does that Hinata thing with his fingers," Hinata in turn blushed and stared at Naruto out of the corner of her eye; Sasuke gagged, "and starts to get that blush he gets when Sakura catches him staring at her," Sakura herself growled and resisted the urge to harm her sensei, "then looks away and asks if he would like to have a umm…ah yes…A  _soft-core_ fight when school was over."

Tsunade muffled her laughter and Iruka continued, pink tinting his tan cheeks.

"So they get through gym and then later on after school Sasuke and Naruto meet outside on the school's football field. A little audience of…Kiba, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sai, Ino, Sakura, and Lee gather around to watch. Sakura and Ino cheer Sasuke on, even though he doesn't take any notice."

Twin huffs of annoyance were heard.

"Naruto tells himself that yes, this was a test to see just what Sasuke felt like, but also if he won he could prove to Sakura that he was stronger than the school's heart throb-"

Naruto interjected in the story, "Look, Iruka-sensei, I don't even like Sakura like that any more! And she knows it because she forces me to go shopping with her  _all the time-_ "

"Naruto. You're not supposed to tell people that," Sakura sighed.

"Heh, well it's  _true_ …"

Iruka took a deep breath, getting rid of the mental images before going on. "Now, I don't want to take the time to get into the fight," he eyed Kiba, who smiled a toothy grin. "But let's just say that Naruto and Sasuke both tried their hardest and…came out in a tie-" Naruto 'booed' and Sasuke grunted in displeasure while the other students took sides.

"Calm down, this is just a scenario! Anyways, after the fight Sasuke and Naruto are all dirty from rolling around and what not, so decide to hurry on home because it was getting late. But Naruto's house was really far away from the school, so he took a chance and asked if he could spend the night at Sasuke's, since that day was Friday. Sasuke, even though he hesitated, said yes because Naruto still was his friend." Iruka took a moments pause for his story to sink in. He looked over at Naruto to see that the boy was staring fixedly at him.

 _Sorry about his Naruto, it's just once I get going…'_ He silently begged that Naruto would forgive him for possibly making a fool out of the boy. He cocked his head to the side and looked Sasuke over. Those cold eyes locked with his own and he held the gaze for a second.  _You know Sasuke, this could help you too. I mean, if your fan girls aren't dumb and get the hint I'm setting._ Iruka took another deep inhale of air and blew it out slowly, scanning the whole class. "They walked home in silence before finally reaching the Uchiha complex. Sasuke unlocked the door and led Naruto inside. Once there-"

_"Naruto abruptly pushed Sasuke up against the wall, sealing the Uchiha's lips with his own."_

Everyone got whiplash from turning so fast to see who had just come in. Kakashi-sensei was standing in the doorway, a purple covered book in hand. He gave a smile from behind his mask and raised a hand to the students and two teachers.

"Yo."

Iruka didn't even let his mind think of what Kakashi had just added to his story, his mouth twitching into a small smile. "Hello Kakashi-san. What brings you to my class this afternoon? And," Iruka looked at the book in Kakashi's hand, knowing full well that the masked man had made it himself.  _How_  he will not tell out loud to anyone, "why is that book, the one I specifically said  _not_ to  _ever_  let my eyes fall upon, here?"

Kakashi's smile widened and he simply said, "Iruka-sensei, I was just helping you with your story. It was getting so boring, I thought that these students could use some…  _action_."

Under his breath Iruka swore that his students got enough action as it was.

"Hmm, Iruka-sensei?"

"Nothing. Please excuse him class, his inner pervert is just screaming to be released." Oh dear, he did not mean to say that aloud.

"Well, Iruka-sensei, that's not what you said  _last night._ "

Damn it, now he was caught red handed. Maybe Naruto wouldn't notice that he really truly  _did_  know something about homosexuals…

"Sensei! You said you 'knew nothing about homosexuals'! So why are you in a clearly homosexual relationship with Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto's whine filled the class room and Tsunade again held back her laughter. Many of the students were whispering to one another.

"It's not what it sounds like class! Please don't listen to him!" Iruka was slightly fearful, afraid that the whole class would find out that he was indeed with Kakashi.

"So, you're saying that it was a one night stand?" Naruto asked and Iruka wondered when his foster child had learned such words. Oh wait that's right…Kiba  _was_  his friend.

This time Kakashi spoke, "No Naruto, we did not have a one night stand. We had a  _several_ night stand because Iruka-sensei cannot keep his hands off me."

Smugness filled Kakashi's every word, making Iruka feel violated. His vision was swaying and it seriously felt like he was drunk. He could see Naruto's bright orange jump suit swirling, and now there was someone else, who highly looked like Sasuke. Even the voices he heard were faint.

"Come on dobe, lets go fight  _hardcore_  outside."

"Hehe, okay. But how about in the  _bathroom_  instead?"

"Hn. Someone's getting smarter by the day."

Iruka had to stop Naruto. Underage sex was something he taught about and needed to warn Naruto like the good parent he was. But as soon as he was about to call out, arms were around his back, holding him against a strong chest and his vision went black.

* * *

When he woke up, the room was white with bright lights. He sat up slowly and blinked. All around him were flowers of every color. He turned to the right and saw Kakashi reading his regular orange book.

"Where am I?" A very typical question to pop up in the hospital sense. He heard Kakashi laugh lightly.

"You're in the nurse's office. Been out since yesterday night."

"What?!" Iruka looked at a near by clock, seeing that it was 8:46 a.m.

"Mhm, they don't know what made you pass out, but I think it was because of that story you were telling."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "I passed out because I was telling a story? Yeah right."

Kakashi shrugged and went back to his book. "You never told a story quite like that before, much less one to do with…homosexuals."

Iruka felt his face heat up as he remembered what he had been talking about yesterday. Damn Naruto, he was so taking his phone away. He heard Kakashi get up and move over to the bed his was laying in. The silver haired man leaned down and put a quick kiss on Iruka's forehead.

"I enjoyed your story, Iruka-sensei. In fact…you should help Jiraiya write Icha-Icha."

The rest of the day Iruka refused to speak to Kakashi.


End file.
